“Is My Wife Cheating?” The Most Common Questions About Our Loved Ones We Daren’t Ask

Online Spy Shop, with the help of a team of international data scientists, has uncovered the most common Google searches made about our loved ones and close relations - and the results are...interesting. So if you've ever turned to Google because of suspicions about a cheating wife or wondered what your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, children, or distant relatives want to know about you but are too afraid to ask, we've got the answers. The vast majority of family-related Google searches were related to infidelity, mental health and emotional abuse.

Key Findings

  • The most common spouse-related searches were about infidelity.
  • The biggest question about boyfriends is - “is my boyfriend gay?”
  • The most common question about dads is - “Is my dad alive?”
  • Searches about children were typically health and welfare-related.
  • Teeth-grinding sons, daughters with lice and farting brothers were also common sources of curiosity.
  • Stepsisters were the least Googled family members.


Using data collected from Google’s autocomplete function, the data team were able to measure which queries were most frequently made based on the suggestions Google offered. The data team sampled Google’s suggestions over 5 days, using numerous devices and browsers to control for biases. Wives and girlfriends - Having an affair? Pregnant? Depressed? Searches from suspicious spouses dominated Google’s suggestions for wives and girlfriends, but concern about mental health was also a common theme.


For searches beginning with ‘Why does my wife...’ Google suggested, “Hate me?” “ignore me”, and “fart?”. Husbands and boyfriends - Cheating? Secretly gay? Looking at porn?


The most common searches about husbands and boyfriends were related to infidelity, but when the search term was modified from “my...” to “why does my...”, Google suggested “hate me?” for boyfriend and “lie?” for husbands. Husbands came across badly in the study. The three most common searches starting with “Why does my husband...” were “lie?”, “snore?” and “Look at porn?” Parents - Narcissists? Abusive? Alive? Searches about parents were more varied, ranging from the heartbreaking “Is my dad alive?” to the more positive “Is my mum pregnant?”.


Children's Mental health and well-being were the dominant themes for searches related to children. Siblings


Sibling squabbles appear to drive the participants to Google in search of answers. “Is my brother annoying?” was the most common yet seemingly unnecessary search about brothers, while sisters drove their siblings to ask, “Is my sister an idiot?”


Extended family and in-laws The nature of the queries became more trivial with extended family and in-laws.


Step-siblings and step-parents The least Googled family members were stepsisters. Google made no autocomplete suggestions for “is my step sister...”, indicating that it doesn’t hold enough data related to that search term to complete the phrase.


When the search was modified to “does my step sister...” Google suggested ‘does my step-sister hate me?” The Full List

First suggestion Second suggestion Third suggestion
Is my Girlfriend Cheating Pregnant Crazy
Is my Boyfriend Gay Cheating on me Using me?
Is my Husband Cheating Gay Depressed
Is my Wife Cheating Having an affair Depressed
Is my Mum/mom Pregnant Emotionally abusive Jealous of me
Is my Mother A narcissist Emotionally abusive A sociopath
Is my Dad Alive A narcissist Autistic
Is my Father Abusive A sociopath Autistic
Is my Brother Annoying An idiot Fat
Is my Sister An idiot Annoying A narcissist
Is my Son Autistic Gay Depressed
Is my Daughter Autistic Gay Bipolar
Is my Sister-in-law Jealous of me Attracted to me Flirting with me
Is my Brother-in-law My mahram Attracted to me Related to me
Is my Step-sister no data no data no data
Is my Step-brother My mahram In love with me no data
Is my Stepmother/stepmom Abusive Jealous of me no data
Is my Step-father/stepdad My mahram no data no data
Is my Cousin My mahram Attracted to me In love with me
Is my Aunt Capitalised Jealous of me s husband my uncle
Is my Uncle My mahram My immediate family Capitalised
Is my mother-in-law Jealous of me Passive aggressive A narcissist
Is my father-in-law My mahram Brother my mahram My relative

Teeth grinding sons, daughters with lice and brothers who fart. As well as analysing autocomplete suggestions for terms starting with “Is my...” the team collected data from a range of other search formats. Surprising results included: Why does my daughter keep getting lice? (second most common search) Why does my son grind his teeth? (second most common search) Why does my cousin turn me on? (most common search) Why does my brother fart so much? (fart so much)


Depressingly, the most common autocomplete suggestion for “why does my” was “hate me? It was the top suggestion for searches about girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, mums, dads, aunts, brothers, sons, daughters, sister-in-law, and brothers-in-law. Steve Roberts, a cyber security and surveillance consultant at Online Spy Shop, says some of the findings were surprising, but concerned spouses looking for answers certainly weren’t. “It sadly didn’t come as much of a surprise to us that people turn to the Internet for answers about cheating spouses.

It’s such a sensitive subject that people often feel they can’t turn to friends or family. “We’re regularly approached by distressed spouses considering using spy cameras or audio surveillance. By the time they come to us, they are typically convinced of infidelity and have their evidence, but are looking for ways to prove it to assist with divorce proceedings.” “We always advise people to familiarise themselves with the law before surveilling a suspected cheating spouse. For example, surveillance of your home or car is typically legal, provided you’re careful with the data you gather. Surveillance of other people’s property can be legally tricky. Always ensure you’re not invading someone’s privacy.”