With modern technology, there are more options for would-be adulterers to spark up new connections (dating sites, social networks etc.) - but that means that there are also more ways to be found out...
Look out for the signs
"Mentionitis", as Bridget Jones and friends called it, is one of the most obvious clues that someone has developed, shall we say, an affection for another.
This is when they devise opportunities to mention a third party, sharing their opinions and claiming an interest in this person's hobbies and beliefs - often out of the blue and usually with annoying regularity. A change in online behaviour can also be a clue. Is your partner spending more time online than before? Do they always have their phone by their side? Maybe their phone has been switched to silent mode, and the password changed...
Is your partner on a social network you're not on or not connected to you? If so, that's a bit strange...send out a meeting request pronto, and if they haven't got a good excuse to keep their online social lives to themselves, it's time to ask some pointed questions and to do some digging.
Being connected on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks doesn't tell the full story; there could be private messages you can't access. If someone is up to no good, they will probably cover their tracks by using alias accounts or simply not communicating in public with someone who their private dealings with they need to conceal. Look for some unknown contacts in your partner's friends lists...is there someone with a strange name you've never heard of before or a profile which is strangely lacking in updates? This could be the alias account.
Check the history
This can be easier said than done. A clued-up Casanova will know how to clear their browsing history after closing down windows, probably even having this option as a default setting. Never fear; if you're sure that searching through the history of internet behaviour will answer your questions, there may be a way around this. There are a number of reliable computer monitoring solutions. There is software which is very easy to use, and it is very stealthy. If you've never come across this technology before, you'll be astounded by what it can do (and maybe a little paranoid about your own computer). Computer monitoring software can typically -
- Record all emails sent, including web-based emails such as Gmail
- Monitor instant messenger conversations from both parties
- Access passwords by reading keystrokes
- Copy files (such as images) uploaded and downloaded to social networks
- Record all web addresses visited, even if the user has set the account to clear the history
- Monitor online search terms
- Provide access to updates on all social accounts used on the computer.
Pretty comprehensive! Before you start spying in this way, it's best to take a breather and think about whether it is the best thing to do. Are you prepared for bad news? What will you do if you discover your partner is having an affair? Suppose the relationship is on its last legs. In that case, evidence of an affair can be incredibly useful for divorce cases, and using computer tracking software may be key to you getting a fair deal. And don't let paranoia take over if you constantly get reassurance that nothing untoward is taking place behind your back; then, it's time to accept that is the truth. Good luck!