Idiot’s Guide To…Sneaking

It’s the last in this series of Idiot’s Guides, and what better way to finish than by doing a guide on sneaking, being sly, and generally making yourself invisible if you do not have the super power to do it already.

The most important thing to remember is that opacity is the key to successful hiding.  Avoid transparent places at all costs.

No standing up allowed!  If you are hiding behind a rock, standing up is probably not a good idea.

Remember also that you can’t put your hands over your eyes and think you are hidden.

Pretend that you are the person you are hiding from.  See it from their eyes  – what are they able to see?  What are the lighting and obstacles that they are looking at from their angle?  Understanding your target is essential.  By putting yourself in their shoes, you can tell what they can and can’t see.

Pick a place of cover to hide behind.  Don’t make it too obvious.  Take time researching as much as possible about your target location to decide if it is right for hiding purposes.

Keep as small as you can.  The smaller you are, the less there is to be seen.  Lose weight – or just crouch really small…  Buy small items of spy equipment so they don;t bulk out your frame too much.

Shut up!  Keep as quiet as you can- remember that being seen is more than just visual; if someone hears you, then they will look directly at the sound, which will blow your cover.  Turn off any spy equipment which emits noise and light.

Don’t tell anyone where you will be.  Even if you tell a well-trusted friend, they may spill the beans about where you are.  Control of information is vital to secrecy.  Find out where everyone else is, but keep your own location secret.

Act normal.  Be like others and no one will bat an eyelid.  If you are in a large crowd, sometimes anonymity is better than secrecy. In that case, know the crowd, and act/look/sound like everyone else.  Avoid eye contact. Once you’ve looked someone in the eye, they’ll be attracted to examine you further.  Don’t make any major movements that can draw attention to yourself – be discreet. People will notice you if you are running past them as opposed to if you are walking.  When walking through crowds, look at the ground.  Buy spy equipment which is concealed on everyday objects such as mobile phones, pen camera recorder, watches, etc.

Follow these steps and you might just be able to make yourself  invisible enough for your mission.  We’ve done all we can here, now go forth and be less of an idiot!